Ode to Jeremy Bentham in a time of Self(ish)ness and $$ on an island called America

Preface

Bentham built a machine for measuring happiness. He called it the felicific calculus and gave it seven dials: how intense a pleasure is, how long it lasts, how certain it is, how soon it arrives, whether it breeds more of itself, whether it arrives clean or with pain attached—and then the seventh, extent. How many people are in the sum.

We still run six of those, constantly and well. We optimize intensity. We A/B test duration. We have built whole industries on certainty and immediacy. It's the seventh time we quietly stopped computing.

The following poem is an avant-garde expression of the pressures of American society by a member of the Berkeley community.

- The Editor-in-Chief of the Smartass

Ode to Jeremy Bentham in a time of Self(ish)ness and $$ on an island called America

by Hadley N. Nuff

Many ask, "WWJD?" But what I really want to know is…

WWJBD? (What would Jeremy Bentham do?)

What happened to Felicific Calculus—did we just get bad at math or caring? Or does math work for some and not others?

Maybe they (WE) are right—the math isn’t mathing…

Do we want too much (what others have on Insta)? Is the rent too damn high? Or is the care for happiness only transactional now? What am I getting?? Step out of my way!

What about the greatest happiness principle? What if only a portion are allowed the freedom and power to be happy—and the rest grind, grind, grind, grind, insta-carting a life that adds up to survival.  Three hots and a cot and doing it all over again.

What about equality of interest? Why are so many shaking their heads, "yes, yes," when leaders are so openly excluding voices today? Excluding your neighbor, your friend, a pen pal in a country (not yours), and your co-worker?

Ok, so what if Jesus and Bentham had coffee at Monmouth Coffee in Covent Garden one morning? What would they agree on?

Universal Healthcare.

Universal Mental health care.

Housing.

Community, Not Competition. 

Care for one’s neighbor.

Walking together looking out in the same direction over Waterloo Bridge.

(picture Jesus and Jeremy <<Jsquared>> with their selfie stick life) ...heading out for fish and chips (remember the loaves?) 

(Now play Pharrell Williams' “Happy” as you think about this.)